As I have been coping with election anxiety all day, I am coming to the realization that posting new writing every day for the month of November may have been a less than stellar idea.
Then again, I am learning to write through intense anxiety, so there’s that.
But it isn’t just election anxiety. It’s straight up election depression. People I care about voted for a man who brags about assaulting women, has led with negligence, encouraged violence, and fanned the flames of fascism. He has stacked the Supreme Court with people who have little experience, and has shown the most corrupt and hypocritical Congress I have ever seen. (Fuck you, McConnell.) His blatant denial of climate change and a deadly pandemic has led to America having the highest death toll *in the world*. And these people voted for him. Again.
As did *millions* of others.
The man who condemns peaceful protesters for being black and violent (despite the incredibly high rate of peaceful protests AND the evidence that much of the violence has been instigated by white people trying to make BLM look bad.) and calls Racists who flood the streets chanting “White Power”, “Very fine people.” The man who wants to take away the insurance of 20 million Americans in the middle of a pandemic. The man who blatantly lies to the American people on average of 5x a day. Again. They voted for him again. Enthusiastically.
It hurts. It legitimately hurts my heart. It is depressing. It is discouraging. I don’t have election anxiety, I have election nausea.
But then I look at my partners, and my children, and remember that they are worth working through all of this anxiety and nausea and fear. They are full of life and hope and optimism and I will keep working to make this world a better place for them. And for all the adults. And everyone born here. And everyone not born here.
And even those who actively work again equality, because I was once drinking the kool-aid too.
Tonight, I hope we save the world long enough for everyone to enjoy it.
As I cry into my mac and cheese because I just cannot take the stress.